4th and Long

I am, by no means, an expert on football. This is only my second season of watching. I will say that I know much more now than I did a year ago today. I have grown to love watching it, and, just this year, have decided that I will even cheer at games. Especially when my favorite player makes a tackle. Admittedly, I still get confused about almost every penalty. The only one I really understand is a face mask, but even then, I never notice while I'm watching because I'm too busy concentrating on who has the ball and where they are going. I may not know the positions of the players by looking at the field, but I can tell whether things are going good or bad. I know that when my team has the ball, "1st and goal," is good, and "4th and long," is bad.

When I hear the announcer say that, my stomach tightens, my heart goes a little fast, I clasp my hands, and wait in anticipation to see what will happen. As I watch, there is not one thing I can do to make the situation better. I don't have the knowledge, skills, or authorization to do anything other than to sit and wait. Sometimes things go well, and they get the yardage or even a touch down. Other times, they don't go so well. Either way, in those brief moments before a decision and play is made, there is a feeling of stress, uncertainty, and for the fans, helplessness.

I woke up this morning feeling a little beat down. I can't afford my prescription, so my endometriosis has been completely wrecking me. On top of that, I have a nasty cold. Physically, I almost never feel well anymore. I have been in an awful slump in my relationships. I have this deep, almost instinctual, urge to push people away, which has only gotten worse since my panic attack I mentioned in my last post. I see the issues in my life and they stress me out, but I have no idea what to do about them. This leaves me feeling quite uncertain. In many ways, my problems are out of my control. I cannot physically heal my body or my mind. That leaves me with an overwhelming sense of helplessness. 

In a brief moment of brilliance, I put the two together. 

Stress, uncertainty, and helplessness.

That's how I described both my current state of mind, and a 4th and long.

I have found a lot of comfort in this small parallel. Remember when I said that sometimes things go well? (If you're rooting for my team, they tend to.) Just because it's 4th and long doesn't mean the game is over. Even if the ball is turned over, even if things don't go as we hoped, there is still time and opportunity for things to be changed. It may even be an interception in the last six seconds of the game. 4th and long may feel hopeless, but that doesn't mean it is hopeless. Isn't it the same way in life? How many times have I been in a tough situation and things turned out? How many times have I done all I could to no avail, and God pulled through in the "last six seconds"? What about all the times I felt as if I would never feel joy again, like the game was over and lost? I can assure you I've felt joy since then.

Things might be tough right now. I may be feeling stressed, uncertain, and helpless, but it's not the end of the game. It's 4th and long.