Ooh Chloe

One of my favorite things about the Bible is that, being the word of God, it is living and active. Unlike other books, it constantly has meaning pouring out even when we read the same text multiple times. What a gracious gift to us, that a book with a limited amount of words and pages has an unlimited wealth of wisdom, teaching, correction, training and rebuking for us. But sometimes I sleep on this truth and the many others that are tucked in the pages of my Bible. I grew up going to church and am quite familiar with many of the stories. I was often the winner of trivia games in Sunday school and took Wednesday night Bible jeopardy to the extreme. This familiarity with facts is often what leads to my dismissal of truth. I tell you this because I am about to speak on a story that I have heard my whole life, a man that most people are familiar with, and a chunk of scripture that I briefly thought about glossing over because I already knew the story. I brought in 2020 with the book of

The past few months have brought much change in my life - wanted and needed. Even wanted change brings a level of stress and uncertainty, and after the dust settles, a period of reflection. My last post spoke to my waiting on the Lord. The end of August, brought the end to my waiting! I was finally hired for a new job that's not retail! (*praise hands*) I'm still STOKED to have weekends off and to be learning technical skills that will help me in my future.  Just before that, I started going to counseling again, and recently have started EMDR therapy there. I haven't been very vocal about this online or in my "real life." I thought it would be better for me to give myself space to process without trying to make a post or conversation piece about it. I'm not done with therapy, but I do feel like I am now at a point where a can share and want to share about some of the conclusions I have drawn. I want you to think about your life. Think about the highest

"For from days of old no one has heard, nor has ear perceived, nor has the eye seen a God besides You, who works and acts in behalf of the one who gladly waits for Him." - Isaiah 64:4 I guess I wasn't really prepared for this "in between." I feel as though I have one foot in the past and the other in the future. Some mornings I wake up, the morning sun hits my skin, fresh air fills my lungs, I feel the new mercies of the Lord in my bones. The smell of my coffee brewing stirs excitement in me for the possibilities of Today. Some mornings I wake up and it feels like the light of the sun can't quite reach me. Instead of breathing in fresh morning air, I suck in anxiety and regret  - I am drowning. Again. My vision blurs as my past consumes me. I sink further and further into this bottomless ocean, sure that either I have ruined my life, or my life has ruined me. The calm after a storm is eerily quiet. After growing accustomed to all the chaos that the stor

"One word comes to mind: Gratitude...," from " Before the Throne " When I finished my last post, I finished with this line, but wanted to elaborate more on the subject of gratitude. This spring/summer have been periods of tremendous growth for me. It's almost as if I feel the literal turning of a page in my life. The winds have shifted, there is change in the air. I can feel the freedom in my bones from the telling of the truth ( John 8:32 ). There is a rustling inside of me that is ready to take the next steps necessary, to do the work that God has for me. It's not because everything is right, or even that I have the solutions to everything. It's because the truth of the word of God has changed my perspective and my heart over and over again, slowly renewing me as I learn to know my Creator ( Colossians 3:10 NLT ). Something I've realized is how threatening a person with a grateful hear must be to the schemes of satan. Colossians 2:7 says, &quo

I recently had the opportunity to go to court. I use the term "opportunity" very carefully. It does not reflect the way I initially felt or talked about it, but I have since come around. If you have never had to stand before a judge, your friends, family, and strangers to give a detailed account of your deepest hurt and shame two chairs away from the person who caused most of it, I highly recommend it. I wouldn't consider it the funnest thing in town, but it will definitely give you a better - more accurate - perspective of God and yourself. In the grand scheme of things, that is really what I'm going for in this life. I had hoped that I would gain that understanding through something not quite so humiliating and terrifying, but I'll take it how I can get it. I'm the type of person who regularly says, "don't judge me," for minor things (like the way I eat pizza). Let me tell you, the level of scrutiny I was under both times I went before the ju

Have you ever had those times where you think you know exactly what God is going to do? You can see all the pieces coming together, it makes sense, it feels good, your heart swells with joy, your soul seems to exhale a sigh of relief. This is how God is going to redeem my story. This is the beginning of my new chapter. But then He doesn't do that. Just as fast as you saw those pieces coming together, they start to fall apart again. The path that seemed so clear, so bright, so hopeful, is now gone. Where does that leave you? Where does that leave me? If you have read any of my recent posts, you know that the struggle in 2018 was real. The loss, the heartbreak, even trauma, was so so real . I came into 2019 eager-beaver, ready and expectant to see how God was going to redeem my past. I saw some ways that it could happen and, for a moment, I was convinced that's how it would happen. I know I'm not alone in this. I'm sure we've all had those moments. It's what w

"God is a refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." - Psalms 46:1 Y'all. My life right now. I am so overwhelmed. While I'm tempted to be overwhelmed with fear, worry, stress, anger, frustration, grief, and despair - and I have moments that I am - overall, I have been overwhelmed by the goodness of God. Not because He has kept me from all possible hurt or trouble,  but because He has been there with me through it all. And by doing that, has not only revealed more of His perfect and holy character to me, but has grown me in my far from perfect or holy character.  This season of my life has brought me so many struggles and hurt that I never anticipated. I would say that every area of my life looks quite different from what I planned (2 Corinthians 4:8-12). My education, career, my relationships, even where I'm living. Sometimes I do get angry. I get frustrated. Some days my hope wavers. None of this is to say that I am leading a miserable existence,