When I hear the words, "make me," I immediately imagine a child throwing a temper tantrum. "Johnny, be quiet," and in a loud, shrill voice he replies, "Make me!" No one ever says this regarding something they want to do because no one has to make you do something you enjoy. Nobody makes me eat brownies. Nobody makes me write this blog. I just do it because I enjoy it. My roommate makes me workout on the days I don't want to (bless her). My conscience makes me eat carrots. Let me tell you, there is a huge difference in the way I eat carrots and the way I eat brownies. It doesn't take rocket science to figure out the difference between being made to do something and doing something out of pure want-to.
Maybe it was the basic knowledge that made the author's words in Psalm 119 stand out to me. Verse 35 says this, "Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, for I delight in it." This sound like an oxymoron to me. "Make me... I delight in it." At first I just sat there squinting at the verse staring back at me on the page. Why would anyone need to be made to do something they delight in?
It didn't take too long for me to be knocked back to reality and realize that I am the exact same way. I recognize how much better my life is when I fill my life with God's word, cheerfully follow His commands, and make every effort to follow His plan for my life; moreover, I am well aware of how much pain I have needlessly let into my life by not listening to His commands or following His plan for my life (see my post, "Don't Pray About It.") In fact, if you were to lay out all of my blog posts in chronological order, I would bet that you could tell when I was veering from "the path of God's commands" and when I came back. If it is so apparent to myself, and even others, why would I even think of straying? If I delight in God and His commands, why would I ever want to leave?
I don't have a concrete answer or solution, but I have some thoughts about it. I have been pondering the idea that the root of sin is the belief that God isn't enough. In this particular instance, I think that is a good candidate for a possible reason. It's not the necessarily the doubt of God's goodness or the joy I find in Him, but more the doubt that He is the best. It's this moment of doubt that makes a crossroad for me, and for whatever reason, I always fall for the lie that God isn't enough, that I need something else in addition to Him. Then when I add whatever it is I think I need (a person, a responsibility, a position, a hobby, an achievement, or anything else), I find that I am left more empty than I was before. (Cue, "Truth" by Tim Halperin.)
Maybe it's simply the belief in a lie that keeps me wandering, and keeps me in need of the hand of God making me follow Him. When I consider the joy I find in God, even when I think there could be something better, and the patience that He has with me, I am more than happy to be the little child saying, "make me," but with a tone of eagerness and desperation for a God so great my little mind can't comprehend it.
Maybe it was the basic knowledge that made the author's words in Psalm 119 stand out to me. Verse 35 says this, "Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, for I delight in it." This sound like an oxymoron to me. "Make me... I delight in it." At first I just sat there squinting at the verse staring back at me on the page. Why would anyone need to be made to do something they delight in?
It didn't take too long for me to be knocked back to reality and realize that I am the exact same way. I recognize how much better my life is when I fill my life with God's word, cheerfully follow His commands, and make every effort to follow His plan for my life; moreover, I am well aware of how much pain I have needlessly let into my life by not listening to His commands or following His plan for my life (see my post, "Don't Pray About It.") In fact, if you were to lay out all of my blog posts in chronological order, I would bet that you could tell when I was veering from "the path of God's commands" and when I came back. If it is so apparent to myself, and even others, why would I even think of straying? If I delight in God and His commands, why would I ever want to leave?
I don't have a concrete answer or solution, but I have some thoughts about it. I have been pondering the idea that the root of sin is the belief that God isn't enough. In this particular instance, I think that is a good candidate for a possible reason. It's not the necessarily the doubt of God's goodness or the joy I find in Him, but more the doubt that He is the best. It's this moment of doubt that makes a crossroad for me, and for whatever reason, I always fall for the lie that God isn't enough, that I need something else in addition to Him. Then when I add whatever it is I think I need (a person, a responsibility, a position, a hobby, an achievement, or anything else), I find that I am left more empty than I was before. (Cue, "Truth" by Tim Halperin.)
Maybe it's simply the belief in a lie that keeps me wandering, and keeps me in need of the hand of God making me follow Him. When I consider the joy I find in God, even when I think there could be something better, and the patience that He has with me, I am more than happy to be the little child saying, "make me," but with a tone of eagerness and desperation for a God so great my little mind can't comprehend it.
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