Here's just a handful of the invaluable lessons I have learned the past seven months. Until now, I never missed anyone strictly because of distance. Anytime I missed someone, it was because they left. Forever. I didn't know what to expect, and may have initially took things harder than the average person because I felt as though moving was a death sentence to the first friendship I've had in two years. (See, "Lessons" and "The Word with Friends.") Now, I understand that's not true. It's an obstacle, not the end. For music's sake, Jason Aldean's "See You When I See You" is a fantastic song, and is very relevant to this post.
More than time exists.
There comes a point when you realize there's more to friendship than being together. I once read something to the effect of, "Don't confuse those who are with you with those who are there for you." I cannot stress that enough. Do I miss the days when distance was no thing? Obviously. ("My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be." - Psalm 42:4) Even though I have learned to appreciate time together more than I did before, I realize that although it's a good thing, it's not everything.
Live in the present.
A terrible habit of mine is to let my mind wander to the past. The good ol' days. The time when I didn't fully realize what I had. Not only is the past a fun place to visit because of all the great memories, it's also the perfect spot for me to rehash all the should've, could've, and would'ves. Sometimes I beat myself up over the time I took for granted. But... oh well. I can't change it. The best thing to do is make the most of the here-and-now. If I don't, I'm only ruining the present by thinking about the past.
The postal service is the literal best thing known to man.
I have always loved mailing things, but my love of mail has increased exponentially. I've never been a materialistic person, but this has made me see the value of presents more than ever before. Just because I can't see you, doesn't mean I can't send something. My favorite thing is when the package gets there the next day which is really amazing and somehow makes the distance seem a little less.
The 21st century isn't all bad.
I'm kind of notorious for my general contempt for the 21st century. My most prized possession is my record player. My favorite author is F. Scott Fitzgerald. At one point I cried out of frustration that it's not 1958 (the year Ricky ruled the radio). Despite that, there are some pretty snazzy things about all this new technology. I love writing and I love mail, but it's pretty fantastic that I can type a message and have it get there in one second rather than a few days. As much as it pains me to say it, technology really does help people stay connected and I'm grateful for that.
Take a moment to appreciate the great wisdom of Andy Dwyer from Parks & Recreation.
Don't hold someone accountable for another person's actions.
As I mentioned before, it had been two years since I had a friend, and even longer since I had a good friend. It's a blessing and a curse. Sometimes it's good because I appreciate every act of kindness - no matter how small, and am so grateful. (You know how I feel about being grateful.) Other times, I think myself into believing Rambo was right when he said, "There are no friendly civilians," and that no one could possibly want to associate with me. One day I had the realization that if I let other people's hurtful actions towards me affect how I approach every relationship from now on, I am essentially making everyone responsible for someone else's actions. Not only is it unfair to them, but it will keep me from having any quality friendships. One day I literally had to tell myself, "Chloe. So someone hurt you. Big deal. It's over. At this point, any more hurt is your fault because you're just dwelling on the past. Move. On."
God's got a plan.
My relationship with Christ has benefited from this friendship so so much. I don't know about you, but I think that means it's most definitely part of God's plan, as well as an answer to all my prayers. I know God knew that both of us would end up moving. I also know that God doesn't make mistakes. I try not to get upset, but sometimes I do. Most days I'm fine, but occasionally I have a little pity party. Talking about friends at church? Guaranteed pity party. Third-wheeling two friends at lunch? Oh yeah. So the days when each mile feels like a hundred, and when I forget that "more than time exists" I just have to remind myself that my job is to trust God and live the fun life.
One last thing. Remember that rather sad verse from Psalm? It brightens up with a little trust in God - just like me.
My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be. Why am I discouraged? Why am I so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again - my Savior and my God. - Psalm 42:4-6
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