Don't Pray About It

I had an odd thought this morning. I wish I hadn’t “prayed about it.” At first I was shocked at my thought. Why would I think that? Why would I wish I hadn’t “prayed about it?” What harm came from praying? Why did I view it as a mistake? I felt like a bad Christian. But I realized I didn’t wish that I hadn’t prayed altogether, I only wished I had prayed differently.

At the beginning of this year I was faced with a decision. I knew what the Bible said, and I knew God had a perfect design and plan. However, I felt that following this plan would potentially give people the wrong idea of God. You know, I thought I knew better than God. I wrestled with this decision. Even though I knew God’s guidelines were clear on this particular issue, I told those closest to me that I would do the right thing, and “pray about it,” and I did. My prayers were rather one-sided, though. They usually came out like this (all in one breath): “God-help-me-to-do-what-you-would-do-and-help-me-to-see-Your-will-amen.” I continued to read my Bible daily, and would usually make one short note over a whole chapter. It was usually something like this: “Sometimes we think we understand God’s ways, but we don’t.” Essentially, I was trying to hide myself from God – under His own thumb. Although I said I was praying about it, I moved forward with my decision with little to no regard for what He had clearly stated in His word.

Now that I am on the other side, I see that shouldn’t have prayed about it, I should have prayed through it. I knew what God had said. I knew He had a plan and that my human logic would never be better than God’s master plan. I knew that this was not God’s best for me. But I wanted it. And how could I say no when it was so very easy to say yes? As an INFJ, I’m a bit of an idealist. Even when I know that something won’t work, I can see how it could. Sometimes I let the idealism take over, and choose to believe it. So rather than lay down my idealism and human desires, I “prayed about it.” What a terrible way to say, “I’m choosing to ignore what God has already said.”

Since I knew God’s truth, I should have prayed through it. I knew I needed to walk away, but sometimes walking away is unbelievably difficult – especially when it’s something we want. I needed to pray. I needed God to show me His way out. I needed His guidance and comfort to encourage me and remind me that if I wait, He has better. I needed Him to be my strength in my weakness. 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLT) says, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” It wouldn’t have been easy to say no, but I could have. In all honesty, I didn’t even try.

I am so glad that God tries when I don’t. When I pull a Peter and deny Him (Luke 22:54-65). When I dare to claim to be in prayer over something while setting aside all of His written instruction. When I think I know better than the author of all history, God does not give up on me. He may have to pry my clenched fists open to let go of my sin and idolatry, but He will because He cares. He cares too much to let me throw it all away. I may take detours on my way to His best, invite unnecessary pain in my life, and even cause myself to miss some of what could have been, but I don’t have the capacity to completely wreck God’s plan for my life.

Looking back, I can see my mistake. But I also see how God can use my brokenness, weakness, and failures for my good and His glory. Overall, the whole experience wasn’t a total failure, but I could have avoided a lot of hurt had I just listened to what God spoke clearly thousands of years ago and that I’ve had access to my whole life.

If you are facing a decision or temptation, I encourage you to not be like me. Don’t try to find a loophole in the Bible. Don’t try to convince yourself that God is telling you to do something that goes against His own teaching. He has given us clear directions through His word. 

Don’t pray about it; pray through it.