What You Need to Know about Befriending a Writer

This post is for anyone who is friends with a writer and also my friends who are taking a crash course in being friends with one.

1) First and foremost, We're Raw. 

Don't mistake this for emotional. You may perceive this as being emotional, but this is our norm. I mean no one really likes a watered down writer. The best writers, both in literature and music, tell things the way they are. They don't sugar coat anything. 

"The purpose of literature is to turn blood into ink." - T.S. Elliot

Sometimes I resent this rawness. It's actually really stressful to feel everything so deeply. We have a need to convey our thoughts in a way that captures how we feel in the most powerful and condensed way possible in hopes of gaining some understanding.

"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence you know."          - Ernest Hemingway 

Being raw is kind of our life's mission. A life lived without openness and honesty is a life wasted. Personally, I am on a quest to find the people that I can be the most open and honest to. I have the same need for honesty in my writing and what I read as well as the music I listen to.

"Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open." - Natalie Goldberg 

 2) We will write about you.

I'm not sure how you feel about this, but you will be written about. We may or may not share it, but if you dig through our notebooks or look over our blog posts, you will most likely find something about you. I usually don't mention names when I write about people - even in my personal writing. I like to keep the options open for my "audience." If the shoe fits, wear it - but I obviously know who I'm writing about. For a little bonus, I'm going to share a poem that I wrote about a friend of mine who is very dear to me.

I know the other think you're a weed.
They call you names and say nasty things.
None of them have a kind word to say,
And they wonder why you push them away.
Their rotten hearts are full of hate.
All they do is trash your name.

Step in my world, look through my eyes.
Take off your silly, protective disguise.
When I see you, I see a wish come true. 
Yes that's you.
Everything about you is something I need,
So I'll never believe it when they say, "You're a weed."

I think it is important for any artist or writer to express how they feel about people, especially when they really love you.

"I was never insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched."                          -Edgar Allen Poe

I've never read anything truer or that applies to me more than that. Writing about people that I care for is so natural to me. One of the first things I do when I start to get close to someone is write and get on Pinterest to find existing quotes that describe how I feel about them. Sometimes I think, "Wow, I hope they wouldn't be freaked out by me writing all the raw feelings about them considering they probably don't have half the feelings towards me as I do them."

"I hope you don't mind that I put down in words how wonderful life is now you're in the world." - Elton John 

3) All that being said, We Love Hard.

Something that I've realized on my "quest" to find people who I can be open with, I've realized that you have to go ahead and be open. You can't know how people will handle it if you don't try. First of all, I have to see potential in someone before I try to be open with them. After I have a moment with them or see something in them that makes me think that they might be a keeper, I'll slowly start to open up layer by layer. I don't know about you, but I can't open up to someone and not love them. Now, since I'm so raw, that love is just amplified and I'm pretty sure felt deeper than most people especially towards some people that I don't know all that well. Personally, I'm not very good at gauging how people feel about me. All I know is that I love you. Once I've made up my mind, you will have a friend for life. If it bothers you, all you have to do is tell me and I won't bother you ever again. Ever.

4) We're Desperate.

Everything is fodder for writing in a writer's world. This makes us carry a sense of urgency and desperation. For me, it feels as though I'm always on the verge of a complete meltdown. That's okay though, because I have something write and then writing makes me feel better.

"Writers are desperate people and when they stop being desperate they stop being writers." - Charles Bukowski

5) We Don't Always Speak Well. 

One reason for this is because I can't organize my thoughts quick enough to speak like a normal human being.

"I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say." - Flannery O'Connor

"There are thousands of thoughts lying within a man that he does not know until he takes up the pen to write." - William Makepeace Thackeray 

"Aklajdkfjdkjfkdj," is an accurate portrayal of how I feel when I try to talk. Please just give me a pen and paper if you want me to convey any information to you in a semi-meaningful way. I can write a great text, though....

6) There Are No Short Texts.

I can't write a short text. I don't have it in me. Why write a few words to someone when I have all this space to communicate something meaningful, fluent, and a whole phone screen long? This is something that I feel bad about. I know texting was meant to be quick communication, but I just can't do it. I've tried to. I end up sending a series of short texts that equal one long one. I'm really sorry to all of you who have to deal with my texts.

For all our little oddities, there is a great reward in store for those who will love us in spite of them: we will love you with everything in us. Just because I'm weird does not make me incapable of loving. In fact, it makes me more capable. I hope you all have the experience of being friends with a writer. Treat them right, and you will have the best friend ever.